This might not be the right time to be gloating, considering the umpteenth fallen government and the complete lack of competent governance in this laughable excuse for a nation, but we’re still going to say we love saying we told you so. So to everybody who is suddenly claiming that they have a well-funded and relevant opinion about this next National Crisis, we have a simple question: where were you last time, when we were incinerating our voting letters at the first edition of Grill The Vote? If you weren’t in Gent, frying ribs and flipping burgers, you better make sure you are present this time so all your intellectual friends won’t think you’re a complete fraud after Election Day.
That’s right, we at POSTRmagazine are continuing our crusade for an administration that does not turn a stale, half-century-old point of pissing & moaning into a festering tumour of political inertia. BHV has become a cancer, a rotting old fungus-stain that has spread to every party and devoured any chance of a productive debate. Just for the sake of hypothesis; maybe this nauseating merry-go-round could have been slightly justified if it was caused by an actual tangible problem, something crucial to the state of our country. But alass, it does not. It’s hot air, passed through a million vents and blown out a million holes. In truth, it’s a pathetic excuse for a political crisis. Throughout the years, BHV has turned more and more into a career-maker, a topic that any politician can use as a means of gaining attention in order to enter the big leagues. Like making a statement about abortion, or stem cell research, only without the actual need for a decent view since the subject at hand is utterly overdebated and also of no actual importance. You just need to say that the whole thing needs to be solved immediately and accuse everybody in charge of doing a terrible job, even if your own party is equally responsible (which it is, because after 50 years of bitching and whining, no party in Belgium is free of blame in this matter, except maybe the Treehuggers). Just tell the people you won’t be the one to back down, and then fail consecutively at achieving any sort of progress while doing fuck-all in any other field and then walk out of office with a smile, confident that you are to blame for none of this.
To make matters worse, BHV covers up the fact that our governments are doing a whole lot of well-paid nothing in the meanwhile. We are hitting a new low here, and nobody is even taking notice because we’re all too busy complaining about how our government still hasn’t solved this one little thing. Well here’s newsflash people; this one little thing is the cheese-gourmet of politics: it is constipating every other piece of shit problem that our governments have failed to solve and our country has stomached about as much as it can take. We are a crap-filled colon, a nation of crusty old political poop that is just screaming to be passed and when that finally happens, something just might get torn in two, both painfully and bloodily. One thing is certain: the smell is going to be unbearable.
Want to be able to tell everybody you saw the continued political decay of our country coming as well next time? Join POSTRmagazine for Grill The Vote II, the cook-out for New Politics which will take place on Election Day 2010 at a location in Gent that will be confirmed later for legal reasons.
Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72 book written by Hunter S. Thompson.
Original cover illustration by Thomas W. Benton.